Princeton Times

Opinion

August 31, 2012

Like mother, like son: The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

PRINCETON — One day, my mom, my sister and I were at home. My mom was getting a shirt off of the front porch that she wanted to wear. She decided to put the shirt on in the hallway. I saw that she began to jerk around.

“There's a bee in my shirt!” she said with a panicked look on her face. “There's a bee in my shirt!”

I did what any normal child terrified of bees (I was stung in the ear by a wasp) would do. I pushed my mom, the woman who gave me life, out the front door. Not only that I locked it behind her.

After she was done with the bee, my mom came back in. She was more than a little bit unhappy with me. I think she grounded me, actually.

When I told my dad about this, years later, he said, sarcastically, “I'll bet she was real happy about that.”

My mom and I have been at odds for years as the above instance illustrates. I only figured out that we would argue so much because we were so much alike a few weeks ago.

For example, we are both very picky about our sheets.

My mom likes cotton sheets; “they keep me warm and I don't slide all over the place.”

I, on the hand, like silky sheets; “they don't stick to me.”

So, we traded. My mom had a pair of silky sheets that she hated. She would wash her cotton sheets in the morning and put them on the bed that evening to avoid the silky sheets.

Another thing we like to do is yell at other drivers when we're driving. My mom can't take a simple trip to Walmart without yelling at four people, usually for crossing the yellow.

Honestly, I can't either. My wife usually wears headphones in the car because I yell so much at other people.

I'll share one more story for my mom and I. One day, the neighbors' dog was really irritating my mom. The dog kept stealing clothes from our clothesline. So, my mom decided to throw a shoe at the dog.

I guess it was windy or something because when my mom let the shoe go, it flew backward and landed in another person's yard. That just made it even worse because the dog beat my mom to the shoe.

Finally, one time, I decided I had enough with two other dogs near our house. I had watched my mom shoot other dogs with a BB gun. I decided to follow that example. A yelp later, that dog never returned to bark in that corner.

My mom told me, “Good job!”

 My dad was none-too-happy. Again, I got grounded for a couple of weeks. It was OK, though. At least my mom knew even though our interests are different we have some personality traits in common.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to put some Pinesol out to make my house smell good and clean just like my mom.

Matt Christian is a Princeton Times reporter. Contact him at mchristian@ptonline.net

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